light breaking through the darkness

Today is the shortest day of the year and Christmas only days away!

A month has passed since my last post...and a lot has happened. I have experienced a deepening grief over the darkness in this world that rips families apart, traumatizes and abuses individuals, and speaks lies and deception into the hearts of all.

The waiting for new LIGHT has never felt more needed.

Now this day, the shortest day of the year and only a couple days before celebrating the birth of Jesus, I am reminded of the reasons to hope. I am grateful for the LIGHT that does and is coming, both the spiritual light, as well as the sunlight that will be increasing in the coming days.

The darkness has felt strong and yet there are glimpses of the light. Here are some snipets...

I have received panic calls from two individuals within a couple days of each other, who had to leave their homes because of physical abuse and substance abuse. After some random craigslist room for rent visits...they each have found housing, albeit temporary.

Christmas presents are being delivered as we speak to families of inmates & migrant families. Last night I delivered presents to the children of some who are incarcerated in our county jail, and during the day I got to be the distributor to some who came to our Family Support Center. Two in particular were a delight to see as they have been living with their uncle 3 hrs away since their mom was jailed 5 months ago. They ran around Tierra Nueva... 'betania...come here... betania...puedo dibujar (can i draw/color)?" Although I dislike the commercialization of Christmas and present-obsession of our culture...I have to say it's quite a treat to provide new crayons, card decks, soccer balls, winter jackets, and other new toys to children who have very little.


I have had the joy of spending more time this month than ever with one Mixtec family in particular, as they seem to have faced hardship after hardship. As I mentioned previously, the father was deported a month ago, leaving the family financially dependent on his wife, mother, and younger brother to support themselves, and nine kids. This month has not been any easier. The mother was denied energy assistance (for electricity bills), and the younger brother ended up in jail (unjustly in my opinion) for a period, and other difficulties I can't mention. However, a week and a half ago at 8am the daughter-in-law delivered this beautiful healthy baby girl.

Their generosity and hope amidst the hardships, as well as their love for each other (and for me!) has been an encouragement to me. Last week I got a call during my dinner break at my other job to come eat freshly made tamales. Not minding that I literally had to eat and run, they welcomed me, laughing at my attempts at speaking Mixtec and sending me away with a bag of 10 extra tamales. And on Sunday for our multilingual potluck and worship service, the whole family came bringing homemade tortillas and caldo de pollo (chicken soup).

A couple of weeks ago, I took the three elementary schools kids to another TN family's house to play with their kids, jump on the trampoline, and put together puzzles. On Saturday I jumped in a van with 11 others, and drove to Everett's Pied Piper children's theatre to see 'Elves & the Shoemakers', bringing along three of the kids I've mentioned. Another TN volunteer organized the event, arranging a van, snacks for the road, and free tickets! It was a delightful event on a rainy day!

So, a merry Christmas to you all.

may HiS LIGHT be ever brighter this season in and around you.

fire temple--entering into the season of advent

as we enter the season of advent, i thought i would share with you some images, song lyrics, and a quote that will I will be keeping in and around me this season...that for many brings forth anxiety not peace, fear not rest, loneliness not community.

...may they bring life to you as well

The icon is called Fire Temple,
by a local friend artist named Joy Banks in Vancouver, BC.

Our TN community is going to use this as a central image for entering unto advent this year. As my friend and coworker said,
"The piece explores how we are all having Christ formed within us--we are temples of the living God set aflame with the Holy Spirit/holy life within us-- burning bushes through whom others encounter God as that life is forming. It also speaks to the waiting and anticipation of the advent season that focuses on how God was born into human flesh."

a song that was written after seeing this image...

Fire Temple -Tom Wuest

May I be your fire temple
Make your home in me
Jesus, I'm your fire temple
What grace to carry Thee

My breast a burning bush

Your living flame within
This temple formed of dust
Bears You, O holy Child

And a quote from one of my favorites,

“The issues of the world are very important.
But I have to learn to approach them from the heart of God. I have to be deeply rooted in God’s heart before I can know how to respond faithfully to these issues…The closer you are to the heart of God, the closer you come to the heart of the world, the closer you come to others. God is a demanding God, but when you give your heart of God, you find your heart’s desires. You will also find your brother or sister right there. We’re called always to action, but that action must not be driven, obsessive, or guilt-ridden.
It’s action that comes out of knowing God’s love.”
-Henri Nouwen

May we be formed anew this season...may Christ be formed anew within us.

winter presses in...

As the snow began falling today, I couldn't help but think of how some of my friends will fare this winter.

Whether its Brenda who's padding her old van (home) with Styrofoam this week to prepare for winter, or the many farmworkers who will be holing up for winter without any income until spring...the change of weather definitely hits the poorest of the poor the hardest. We see more people during this time coming through our Family Support Center doors, seeking relief for rent payments, blankets & winter coats, and the never-ceasing utility bills.

Today a white 40-something-yr-old lady came in asking for help with her water bill. Anything will help she tells me. I ask my usual questions, wondering if she has tried to set up a payment plan or gone to the largest community service agency in the valley to ask for help. We call to save her the trip, and I'm told, 'we're not doing water bills anymore'. Payment plan won't work she says, because her water has been turned off. We decide to help her with a portion of her $190 bill and call over to make a payment with our emergency funds. Unfortunately because this is her second time to get it turned off, they just tacked on an extra $190, and there was some other fee, to make a new total of $340.

She fights back tears after I tell her the news. How is someone who was unable to make her monthly payments, gets her water cutoff, now able to make a payment 3, 4, 5 times the usual amount to get her water reinstated? The battles against the poor seem insurmountable at times.

Our migrant seasonal worker friends, face even less prospects this year. Jobs are even scarcer to come by, and the winter projected to be even colder. For one Mixtec family I know in particular, entering the winter is clouded with the father's deportation last week. He was picked up for driving with a suspended license. Fortunately the mother has work, but her income will be far from enough to sustain herself and 12 others: her mother-in-law and her two young kids, her nephew and his wife and two kids, and her own 5 kids. Last week I brought 4 of the kids over to my house for the afternoon, per their request. We drank smoothies, ate grilled cheese sandwiches, and watched Mr. Bean...also per their request.

I am grateful to be in relationship with these friends. And yet long for more. For the poor to not be burdened, not knowing how they will pay the most basic of bills and eat the most basic of foods; for the homeless to be housed; for the unjustly accused to be set free. I am reminded of a favorite passage...

Is this not the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of injustice,
to undo the thongs of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked to cover them,
and not to hide yourself from your kin?

~isaiah 58:6-7

And so I pray for wisdom...
...how to care, love, support, and advocate alongside those in need. We make small payments to utility and rent bills, pass out blankets and baby diaper coupons, fill out resumes, and job applications. We pray with people for healing, for miracles, for debt forgiveness.
We ask...
...and yet seek to be content and yearn for more at the same time.

These realities make me all the more thankFULL in this thanksGIVING week. As you join me in thanksgiving this week for bountiful blessings--small and large--will you join me in the cry for provision for those who have the least?

Business Article: Why I Hire Former Convicts and Gang Members

Check out this article about John Shegerian who co-founded Homeboy Tortillas and Homeboy Industries, is the CEO of Electronic Recyclers International, Fresno, Calif., and serves on the California Governor’s Gang Advisory Committee, helping state legislators create policies to reduce gang violence.
http://www.bnet.com/blog/smb/why-i-hire-former-convicts-and-gang-members/2422?promo=857&tag=nl.e857

Excerpt:
"I think our hiring practices make our company stronger because they show that our management is sensitive to the human condition. We’re all one accident or one tragedy away from being in a tight spot. Business can be a battle, but when a company shows its DNA this way, it makes for a very tight-knit group and helps us work together.

There’s not a community in America that isn’t suffering from drug, gang, and recidivism problems. People coming out of those situations without structure are going to go back to what they know, whether that’s a gang or dealing marijuana or smoking crack. If every business owner hired just one person from the margins, it could make a world of difference within the community. Helping people get that second chance is our great opportunity and our great challenge."

thoughts?

what am I excited about?

Mike just asked me, “What am I excited about?”

A simple question, but a good question. Although there are the triumphs (like Alondra getting her license), these feel few and far between. So often I feel like I am aware of and sometimes overwhelmed by the numerous reasons to not be excited. Women telling me terrible stories of abuse; a mother telling me of her husband who's being held at Tacoma Detention Center; another who needs help paying utilities before they get cut off; farmworkers struggling to find housing, work, and pay rent…let alone all the other needs that surmount; illiterate non-English speaking people trying to navigate the court system; uninsured adults burdened by heafty medical bills…it goes on and on. To me it has become normal. People are struggling to survive, struggling to be cared for and care for their children. Numerous barriers to survival compound and blind the way forward.

As a person of much privilege, you would think this wouldn’t feel normal. I have never experienced physical, emotional, mental, or sexual abuse. I have never been unable to pay my bills, and as a child I knew I would be provided for by my parents…who were and are still in a loving relationship. Yet, my life isn’t normal, and over the past 5 years since I graduated from college and have been working among the poor and marginalized in society…this has become all the more apparent to me.

The challenges of life now seem insurmountable at times for those I am privileged to accompany day-to-day. Debts, abuse, poverty, addictions, generational issues, lack of social support…the list goes on and on.
So what am I excited about? It is good to stop and reflect.

I am excited that I get to be here, living into what God has invited me towards. I am incredibly passionate about participating in God’s work of SHALOM in places of violence—bringing change to systemic oppression that forces people off the land & into slavery; and healing & hope to individuals who experience physical oppression & abuse. I have wanted to work with women who have been abused as well as recent Latino immigrants…and I am doing both. I am grateful. However, the challenge to not be burdened remains heavy.

Last night at our Volunteer Advocacy training, I was feeling incredibly burdened by various stories I had been hearing. When it was my turn to be prayed for, people saw Jesus coming under the burdens with me and lifting them off of me. I pictured myself being crushed under the weight of a house-size stone block, and Jesus coming under it with me, taking the weight of it so I could either collapse or crawl out. I felt myself on the brink of collapsing and yet fearful of the fall. Can I really let go? Can I really be weak and not be the strong one? People always say I am strong. Yet sometimes I think I need permission to be weak.

So what do I love? what am excited about?
I LOVE sitting with people and hearing their stories, affirming who they are and calling them out to be more fully who they are. I love seeing people come alive, experiencing healing and love from those around them. I love seeing the light come back into people’s eyes. I love being a voice of hope and encouragement. I love seeing God do the impossible. I love people coming together, sharing resources, and moving forward as a community in loving and supporting one another.

This is what I am excited about.

alondra got her license!

(See previous entry about Alondra to know the background to this story).
It's been almost two years since her accident (Dec 28, 2008), and 3/4 of a year since her license was suspended. This week, I received a call from an overjoyed Alondra....
"Betania?"
"Si, como estas Alondra?"
"Ya me fui al departamento de licencia....y ahora tengo mi licencia!!!!" (I just went to the DOL and I now have my license!!!)

Not having a license has caused immense stress for Alondra, and her excitement poured through the phone. I can't count the times I have talked with her about the toll a suspended license has taken on her, both emotionally as well as the ways it has thrown her into a catch-22. She hasn't been able to renew her tabs at times & hasn't been able to sell her car in order to pay off her fines. Having a license is something I have taken for granted, and her struggle and desperation has once again made me realize how much I take for granted. It quite a cause to celebrate and we are very excited!

roadtripping to LA

My coworker recently suggested we read a book called Tattoos on the Heart, by Father Greg Boyle. Father 'G' as he's known in the projects of LA, has been working with gang members for over 20 years. Out of his ministry has developed 'Homeboy Industries', an incredibly impressive organization that is thriving in LA's Chinatown (www.homeboy-industries.org). It's true, the businesses have taken flight (see below for more info). However it's not just the businesses that have taken flight, but truly those who have come to work there--in the best way. Homies from rival gangs work alongside each other in these industries, breaking down the gang walls and entering into relationship.

You may be wondering why i know so much about this organization all of a sudden. well, my coworker Chris suggested the TN staff read it, and after my roommate picked my newly ordered copy up and went through 1/2 of it in a day's sitting, I was all the more prompted to read it. Phenomenal. I recommend it to all. It's re-converting me as a lover of God and belief in the power of love..and GOD as LOVE...to transform lives. (For more on the book, see other blog entry). Only a couple of chapters into it, and my decision was made...I was joining some friends from Tierra Nueva on a week-long road trip to San Fran and LA. I needed inspiration, revitalized vision for ministry among the marginalized. I wanted to visit similar-hearted ministries in other cities along with my fellow friends and coworkers...and together grow in vision and heart for the people we work with.

(the crew +1 and our van)

So, in the beginning of September we jumped in a donated 15-passenger van and header down I-5. I was hoping for change, but I didn't expect to come back with such renewed hope and inspiration, as well as connection to my brothers and sisters. After a brief stay in Vancouver, WA, we headed down to San Francisco's Mission District and InnerChange's Casa San Dimas. There we were welcomed into a community of people who work with gangs and those in and out of juvenile hall.

InnerChange's Mission statement:

"We are communities of missionaries living in poor, marginalized neighborhoods around the world – places most people want to avoid or ignore. We seek to live out the good news of Jesus among the poor, both with words and deeds." FOR more info on InnerChange: http://www.crmleaders.org/ministries/innerchange

(this is one of many amazing murals in the Mission District of San Fran,
with myself, Teddy & Ryan)

There is much to say about our 3 days with this community, however to try for brevity, I would say these are the gems:

• the joy of being amongst a similar hearted ministry was not only encouraging and inspiring, but helped me realize there are more of us out there!
• the director's stories will forever be with me, two journeys--Jose from El Salvador, Celida from Mexico--intertwining in San Francisco as a beautiful couple that is adopting the shunned and family-less youth getting out of Juvenile Hall. Former rivals are now rapping together about the love of God surrounded by a new community. Love is winning these kids over and transforming their lives. "If we are trying to be successful, we are not able to love", says Jose.
• the value of accompaniment, friendship, having someone coming alongside is not to be underestimated. We live in a world longing for connection, to be known, to be heard, to be loved. Too often we overlook the importance of simply being with.
  

After InnerChange, we headed down to LA, the 7 of us and two new companions: a traveler kid who's rode freight trains across the US 6 times since this January...and his pitbull. A guitar, drums, and a van-load of singers enlivened the journey south. Homeboy Industries was the final stop. After lunch at Homegirl Cafe where we enjoyed incredible service & food, we were given a tour of the building:

• the Homeboy Bakery where the lead chef all 'tatted-up' offered us steaming pain au chocolat fresh out of the oven (they supply delicious french pastries and artisan breads for the cafe as well as local stores such as Trader Joe's)
• the Homeboy Merchandise store with hip clothing designed and produced by the homies as a part of Homeboy Silkscreen & Embrodiery (which has over 2,000 clients (PS YOU too can order custom shirts, pens and more with silkscreen or embroidery for your team, your school, and your business. Contact Homeboy Silkscreen & Embroidery at 213-623-7955:).
• Father G's office whose glass walls are in direct line with with front doors
  
• the offices of 9 Case Manager, 3 Mental Health Therapist, a full-time lawyer, the Domestic Violence specialist
• the high quality computer lab
• the tattoo removal lab
• the Solar Panel Installation Training room
• and other classrooms where people gather throughout the day, ranging from Grief & Loss, Driver's Training, Parenting classes, GED, & Substance Abuse.

My social working self walked around the building with my mouth dropped. They have meetings called 'Secure Base', where the case manager, therapist, mentor, drug/alcohol counselors together meet with each employee (homie) once a month. Its a social workers dream.

The day we were there, people kept apologize for being 'out of it'. That morning one of their employees, an 18-year old who came early every morning to wash the windows and do maintenance, had been shot 3 times in the head. He was in critical condition and Father G was with him at the hospital. The 'stories' from Tattoos on the Heart, are real. They are not just stories, they are lives, humans, being pulled down by violence that doesn't let go.
oh LORD have mercy.

a final quote that's in: Tattoos on the Heart:
"our truest measures of compassion lies not in our service of those on the margins, but in our willingness to see ourselves in kinship with them"--Pema Chodron

I am incredibly grateful for the way this trip, and Father G's book, is directing and enhancing my own compassion,
my yearning for change,
and my desire to be in kinship with my those whom society has placed on the margins.

By the incredible LOVE of the Triune God...may these margins be erased.

tattoos on the heart excerpts

check this out:
"to love the enemy and to find some spaciousness for the victimizers as well as the victim, resembles more the expansive compassion of God. That's why you do it. To be in the world who God is.
Here is what we seek: a compassion that can stand in awe at what the poor have to carry, rather than stand in judgment of how they carry it... (p.67).

...compassion isn't just about feeling the pain of others, its about letting them in, bring them in towards yourself. If we love what God loves, then, in compassion, margins get erased...

...compassion is not a relationship between the Healer and the Wounded. It is a covenant between equals. Compassion is always at its most authentic, about a shift from the cramped world of the self-preoccupation into a more expansive place of fellowship, of true kinship" (p.77)

Story Guild 2010

STORYGUILD SUMMER 2010

"O Lord, Hear our Cry!" A presentation by the Summer Story Guild
Sunday, September 12, 2010, 4:30 p.m.
Our Summer Story Guild just completed a 10-week season of entering the stories of the prophet Moses and the Prophet of prophets, Jesus. We have spent these weeks entering the stories through theater, dance, song, and art. The below is a photo from the final production.

mi amiga 'alondra'

I've witnessed some beautiful breakthroughs amidst continued struggles with individuals at the Family Support Center (FSC). One case in particular has drawn special attention from me, causing me to send out prayer updates; (which if you are interested in receiving those let me know); to write about in our TN newsletter; and briefly mentioned in my Spring letter. As Garrison Keller says, here is the rest of the story (or at least up until today)…

Little did I know that a simple trip to the Everett Municipal Court would be the spark for an ongoing friendship. I met Alondra in the Family Support Center where our conversations had centered on the details of the horrendously complicated legal actions related to a car accident. A simple car accident had been compounded by a police officer’s misinterpretation of the situation due to a language barrier. Navigating the “systems” can be terrifying for many whose first, even second, language is different from the majority. Alondra's first language is Amuzgo (an indigenous language of Guerrero). There are few Amuzgo-speakers in the Skagit Valley—Alondra is the only one we know.

As we drove back from court in Everett, each with a coffee in hand to keep us awake after an early morning, tears started pouring down Alondra’s face. She revealed that she was in an abusive relationship. 'What do I do, Betania?' she cried. The abuse had become intolerable, exasperating her to the point of suicidal ideation. Although she was living near Tierra Nueva, her partner prohibited her from coming to services and she was only able to pop into the Family Support Center while he was at work. (This situation has further developed but for now I will focus on the car accident case).

My coworker Amy and I have walked with Alondra through numerous court sessions, telephone calls, and hours of battling over the details of what became an over-a-year-long car accident case. As the court battles continued, Alondra’s license was suspended and she was stuck with a $51,000 fine, it felt increasingly hopeless and over our heads. We began praying for miracles.

A couple of months ago, we met with a very experienced well-known lawyer who offered to make a pro-bono phone call (he doesn't do pro-bono so this in itself was a miracle) to the Dept of Licensing to see about her suspended license. He told us that she has two options: 1). pay $6500+ to DOL and hope the car insurance company doesn't re-suspend her license; 2). pay a lawyer $5,000-10,000 to take it to Superior Court, and hope that her current $51,000 charge is lessened (through establishing liability—tricky). As you can imagine, neither of these sounded inviting, so we began praying for a THIRD option.

Can we ask for the fine to be radically reduced?

Through a prayer-led series of events, Amy presented our request to a car insurance agent referred to her by a friend. In a few words: ‘It’s either lower the fine or get nothing.’ To our amazement, he agreed to lower the fine from $51,000 to $5,000, a miracle indeed! He wanted $2500 up front, and the rest in payments. Unfortunately, Alondra was unable to sell a car of hers to pay for this because it had expired tabs. She could not get new tabs with an expired license.

Amy approached the car insurance company again. How low would they go? She explained our case, praying and blessing the agent under her breath. The agent agreed to $500 down instead! We helped Alondra from our FSC fund and a week later we had a letter stating she could get her license back. God is good! We and Alondra see this as a direct miracle from God. Signs like this confirm to her (and me!) that God loves her, and God is for her. Woo hoo!

This story is an example of the numerous layers and challenges
we face as we accompany our friends on the margins.
To my delight, all these troubles have deepened my friendship with Alondra
—she even frequently drops off homemade Oaxacan food!

it's been two years!

Two years ago in June 2008, I came to Tierra Nueva thinking that I would just be here for a summer. But this community and ministry has gotten a hold of me in a way I unsuspected. It has become very clear that God has called me to this place—at least for the near future. I have repeatedly witnessed God’s work, both in my life and those around me, and am so grateful for the ways I personally have changed over these past two years and hopefully have also enacted positive change.

Here are some other recent happenings:
• I am now part of the Leadership Council of Tierra Nueva and the Co-Director of the Family Support Center (see other entry for FSC updates).
• First Annual Summer Story Guild (weekly mtgs. for a creative children’s play on Exodus)
• First Volunteer Advocate Training, the development of an Apprentice Program, and re-structuring of Tierra Nueva.
• Staff Weekend: on our own Biblical Purpose Statements, Values, & Calling Statements.
• Hosted a group from Bethany Presbyterian Church in Seattle at TN, who transformed our sanctuary with a new layer of paint and weeded our Jubilee Family Farm!

• I founded and am directing Skagit Against Slavery (SkAS): educating & equipping social service providers, educators, students, and community members about human trafficking. We host our monthly meetings at Tierra Nueva, which is a partnering organization. www.goskagit.com/home/article/stopping_modern_day_slavery/

• Various presentations: to a local church with my coworker Salvio on Indigenous Mexicans in the Skagit Valley; to the Board of Skagit Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Services on Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking; other trainings on sex trafficking to SkAS & Tierra Nueva; trauma self-care trainings; and I recently led our Sunday service dialogical sermon!