hope-filled waiting

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday we got to deliver presents to 12 families, and a few more in the past couple of days.

Most of the families have a mom who is in jail, a couple were for the kids of guys we know in prison.

This is a photo of the volunteers who helped sort and deliver presents today! Thank you for your help!

On Sunday, we informed the women who will be in jail over Christmas that we could visit their families and deliver some presents. As I invited the women in jail to fill out a form indicating the name, ages, and location of their children--one woman started crying...really? You are going to go to my house? Visit my kids? She couldn't believe it. She hasn't been able to see her kids and was really moved to know we would see them.

The volunteers who visited her family today, told me the mother of this woman also started tearing up when they explained who they were and why they were here. She was so grateful and said her kids had been spending their own money on presents for their mom, trying to figure out a way to get them to her.

After our Sunday Bible Studies, I met with 'Tania' as she is in isolation and wasn't able to come. I was surprised to see her coming in smiling as I knew she's been in 'iso' for weeks. I guess she was really glad to see me, says they keep denying her visits (which is true, because I've tried twice!). She is also reading the Bible almost all day long ...and really loving it! She started reading in Matthew and just kept going. "Ive never read the Bible before, but i just can't put it down! It helps that i have the time, but its not boring at all." Please pray for her health and for access to medical services she needs. I visited her mom and 3-year-old daughter today with Victoria (TN), to deliver Christmas presents and meet them. Her family has gone through a lot this year, and her mom is concerned about her as well as her brother who is in prison.

During the Bible Study, I shared what God had woken me up with the morning before:

How can the time of 'waiting' in jail, be a hope-filled 'full' sense of expectant waiting instead of a hollow and depressing bidding of time?

As we come closer and closer to Christmas, I couldn't help thinking about the hopeful and terrifying expectation Mary must have had as she neared her 'due date'. With a number of pregnant women around me right now, some in jail, I began...

How many of you have been pregnant? What is the time of 'waiting' like when you are pregnant?

scary, hopeful, there is so much unknown.

...you know something good is coming, even if its scary and out of control.

As we near Christmas, lets talk about Mary, the mother of Jesus. What do you know about Mary?

She's holy, the mother of Jesus.

What else? Do you know people think she was young?

We talked about how she was probably around 15-years old, much younger than the 30+ some guessed.

What about how she became pregnant? What do you think about how her community responded? With love and excitement?

"Well it was a virgin birth, right?" one lady asked. We talked how her family must have been so shocked and horrified to find out she was pregnant, how she was probably accused (assumed) to have slept with someone else, to have cheated on her fiancé'. We talked about how Joseph might have responded at first, and then how he changed through a dream he had from God; and about how Mary left her village to go live with Elizabeth.

Have any of you ever experienced being rejected, kicked out of your family, misunderstood, falsely accused?

"Of course, right now while I'm in jail. My family won't talk to me.

Yeah, mine won't put money on my books."

So, maybe Mary knew some of what that felt like? Sometimes in sanctifying her birth, we forget some of the really difficult circumstances around it. Even though obviously our situations are different, no virgin birth, Jesus was born into a situation we may identify well with.

What does it look like to 'wait on the Lord'?

Wait for the Lord...my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope.

Ps 130:5,6

We read Ps 130, and talked about the challenges of waiting.

Trust. you've got to trust people to hope for good. People let you down so its hard to trust.

How can this time in jail, be filled with a fullness, a hope-filled waiting? Even though you know you've got to go through painful challenges (being locked up, away from children, etc), how can we hope for good...both for now and in the future?

I invited them to put their hands on their bellies, a place where anxiety is often felt, where pregnancy is noticed. Acknowledging the challenges in trusting, the ways we have been let down by people, we prayed that God replace anxiety and fear with hope and trust.

Please join in us as we pray that God fills the women in jail with a newfound trust and hope in God.

rivendell retreat

A week ago, I had the gift of being able to spend 4 full days at a retreat center in Canada called Rivendell. It was a beautiful and well-needed time of sinking more deeply into my identity as God's beloved daughter, regardless of what I do or accomplish!

Leave the rind,

and descend into the pith.

~ Rumi

It helped me recenter; necessary after making quite a few transitions in the past months, and create space within as we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ and start a new year.

I loved exploring the nearby areas, lake, ocean, watching the sunset through the hills, and reading

a variety of literature on a window seat looking at out at an incredible mountain vista. I enjoyed a mixture of mystic writings, modern poetry, and psychological & theological readings:

Reflections on Love, by Julian of Norwich

The Gift of Being Yourself, by David Benner

Healing, by Francis McNutt

Birdsong, by Rumi

Swan, by Mary Oliver

and... the Enneagram!

A merry Christmas to you! May the grace of Christ, the fellowship of his LOVE surround and astound you this Christmas season and coming new year!

Love is a river, drink from it. ~Rumi