hope-filled waiting

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday we got to deliver presents to 12 families, and a few more in the past couple of days.

Most of the families have a mom who is in jail, a couple were for the kids of guys we know in prison.

This is a photo of the volunteers who helped sort and deliver presents today! Thank you for your help!

On Sunday, we informed the women who will be in jail over Christmas that we could visit their families and deliver some presents. As I invited the women in jail to fill out a form indicating the name, ages, and location of their children--one woman started crying...really? You are going to go to my house? Visit my kids? She couldn't believe it. She hasn't been able to see her kids and was really moved to know we would see them.

The volunteers who visited her family today, told me the mother of this woman also started tearing up when they explained who they were and why they were here. She was so grateful and said her kids had been spending their own money on presents for their mom, trying to figure out a way to get them to her.

After our Sunday Bible Studies, I met with 'Tania' as she is in isolation and wasn't able to come. I was surprised to see her coming in smiling as I knew she's been in 'iso' for weeks. I guess she was really glad to see me, says they keep denying her visits (which is true, because I've tried twice!). She is also reading the Bible almost all day long ...and really loving it! She started reading in Matthew and just kept going. "Ive never read the Bible before, but i just can't put it down! It helps that i have the time, but its not boring at all." Please pray for her health and for access to medical services she needs. I visited her mom and 3-year-old daughter today with Victoria (TN), to deliver Christmas presents and meet them. Her family has gone through a lot this year, and her mom is concerned about her as well as her brother who is in prison.

During the Bible Study, I shared what God had woken me up with the morning before:

How can the time of 'waiting' in jail, be a hope-filled 'full' sense of expectant waiting instead of a hollow and depressing bidding of time?

As we come closer and closer to Christmas, I couldn't help thinking about the hopeful and terrifying expectation Mary must have had as she neared her 'due date'. With a number of pregnant women around me right now, some in jail, I began...

How many of you have been pregnant? What is the time of 'waiting' like when you are pregnant?

scary, hopeful, there is so much unknown.

...you know something good is coming, even if its scary and out of control.

As we near Christmas, lets talk about Mary, the mother of Jesus. What do you know about Mary?

She's holy, the mother of Jesus.

What else? Do you know people think she was young?

We talked about how she was probably around 15-years old, much younger than the 30+ some guessed.

What about how she became pregnant? What do you think about how her community responded? With love and excitement?

"Well it was a virgin birth, right?" one lady asked. We talked how her family must have been so shocked and horrified to find out she was pregnant, how she was probably accused (assumed) to have slept with someone else, to have cheated on her fiancé'. We talked about how Joseph might have responded at first, and then how he changed through a dream he had from God; and about how Mary left her village to go live with Elizabeth.

Have any of you ever experienced being rejected, kicked out of your family, misunderstood, falsely accused?

"Of course, right now while I'm in jail. My family won't talk to me.

Yeah, mine won't put money on my books."

So, maybe Mary knew some of what that felt like? Sometimes in sanctifying her birth, we forget some of the really difficult circumstances around it. Even though obviously our situations are different, no virgin birth, Jesus was born into a situation we may identify well with.

What does it look like to 'wait on the Lord'?

Wait for the Lord...my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope.

Ps 130:5,6

We read Ps 130, and talked about the challenges of waiting.

Trust. you've got to trust people to hope for good. People let you down so its hard to trust.

How can this time in jail, be filled with a fullness, a hope-filled waiting? Even though you know you've got to go through painful challenges (being locked up, away from children, etc), how can we hope for good...both for now and in the future?

I invited them to put their hands on their bellies, a place where anxiety is often felt, where pregnancy is noticed. Acknowledging the challenges in trusting, the ways we have been let down by people, we prayed that God replace anxiety and fear with hope and trust.

Please join in us as we pray that God fills the women in jail with a newfound trust and hope in God.

rivendell retreat

A week ago, I had the gift of being able to spend 4 full days at a retreat center in Canada called Rivendell. It was a beautiful and well-needed time of sinking more deeply into my identity as God's beloved daughter, regardless of what I do or accomplish!

Leave the rind,

and descend into the pith.

~ Rumi

It helped me recenter; necessary after making quite a few transitions in the past months, and create space within as we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ and start a new year.

I loved exploring the nearby areas, lake, ocean, watching the sunset through the hills, and reading

a variety of literature on a window seat looking at out at an incredible mountain vista. I enjoyed a mixture of mystic writings, modern poetry, and psychological & theological readings:

Reflections on Love, by Julian of Norwich

The Gift of Being Yourself, by David Benner

Healing, by Francis McNutt

Birdsong, by Rumi

Swan, by Mary Oliver

and... the Enneagram!

A merry Christmas to you! May the grace of Christ, the fellowship of his LOVE surround and astound you this Christmas season and coming new year!

Love is a river, drink from it. ~Rumi

preparing for births...

With Advent starting tomorrow, Christmas lights being hung, Black Nativity choir singing today, we begin to prepare. For what? For whom? A refugee homeless teen couple gave birth to EMMANUEL in a stable.

Right now I’m walking alongside a number of young mothers and pregnant teens. One is ready ‘to pop’ as she says, one is in jail, and the youngest, 15, called me this morning worried because she was throwing up and wasn’t aware of the toil of morning sickness.

On Wednesday night, I visited ‘Tania’ in the jail, whose 3-year-old daughter is in the care of her parents. She asked me to have her mom send photos and pick her up and bring her to church. Jail, she says, is the best thing that’s happened to her. She needs to get clean, go to counseling, and mostly she wants to change for her daughter. Teen pregnancy, and its challenges, is not an abstract reality. I am freshly amazed at the circumstances of our Christ’s birth… entering our world in such fragility, vulnerability and insecurity. Amidst all the buzz of the season, may we let Christ embrace us in all of our own fragility, vulnerability, and insecurity? Redeeming and welcoming us as His children, empowered by His Spirit, and sent forth as His disciples.

I am grateful that I get to walk alongside these women, and desire to see Christ birthed in all of us anew this season.

Thank you dearly for your ongoing support!

treasuring the daylight...

fall is turning to winter,

and with it many changes.

golden & red leaves are falling to the ground,

snow geese are covering the sky like a lacy blanket as I go on morning runs,

frost glistens on the grass,

0ur New Earth Farm, has started their 'winter share' with an abundance of potatoes, carrots, broccoli, and squash.

I now live in a lil' cabin in the woods, on the property of the Ekblads (TN directors while they are away in France).

the new location, is a refreshing change, such beauty, quietness...

...and a physical margin from 'work'.

A small fireplace provides my heat,

& I've enjoyed a couple sunsets, sitting on a log over the Skagit river with a book in hand.

At Tierra Nueva:

• we initiated our 'new apprentices' at our Staff Retreat a couple of weeks ago. Art, Phyllis, and Curtis--each an amazing addition to our team with their energy, passion, and knowledge.

• the new apprentices, myself, & 6 others attended a relapse prevention training called 'Genesis Process' on Oct 10-14th. The material is more than helpful, for us as a ministry as well as for each of us personally. It forced us to look at our own addictions, be it over-working, caffeine, anxiety, co-dependency, etc. It gave us tools to help people identify their relapse triggers & patterns, false beliefs that drive behaviors, and related listening prayer exercises that invite Jesus to bring healing and change to the deep wounds and false belief systems.

• we are working on developing a 'women's program' involving the Genesis Training and their change group guide, potentially starting in January on Weds nights to coincide child care with the Bible Studies that are happening in the guy's apartment.

• I made my first 'chaplain visit' to the jail this past Wednesday, to follow up with one of the ladies I've seen the past two Sundays in jail. I look forward to making more of these visits, now that I am done with my job with Skagit Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault services.

• we're preparing for an 'all hand-made sale' at Tierra Nueva on Dec. 3rd!

Skagit Against Slavery

As of November 3rd 2011, I am working full-time with Tierra Nueva!

Skagit Against Slavery, and my work associated with it,

will now fully be under the guidance and direction of Tierra Nueva.

SkAS is a coalition of volunteer activists and representatives from local organizations who are collaborating together to end human trafficking in our streets and in our homes.

Uniting with the global modern-day abolitionist movement, OUR MISSION is to foster collaboration in the fight against human trafficking through:

community awareness & education

mobilization

capacity building

As many of you know, I founded Skagit Against Slavery a couple of years ago. SkAS has been meeting monthly at Tierra Nueva, providing regular trainings to the community, and developing various focus teams (school-based, faith-based, & social services) that seek to educate the community. Some larger events we've planned include:

In January 2011, funded by Sedro Woolley Law Enforcement’s STOP grant, SkAS hosted Shared Hope International’s INTERVENE training on Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking. 130 social service providers, law enforcement, and community members came to a 6-hour training, and a 160 parents, youth, and educators attended an evening 2-hour training in Sedro Woolley.

In August 2011, SkAS’s faith-based team organized a screening of Call+Response at Mt. Vernon’s Lincoln Theatre, attended by 140 community members. Various community partners hosted booths & presented on a panel inviting & informing people how to respond locally, (Skagit DVSAS, Sedro Woolley Law Enforcement, Hillcrest Christian Fellowship, Bridges Coalition, WARN, Soroptomist International of Burlington, Free At Last Ministries, New Earth Farm, & Tierra Nueva Underground Coffee Project).

A couple of my upcoming events and tasks include:

• Organizing SkAS Monthly Meeting: Nov 15th at Tierra Nueva.
• Speaking on forum at Antioch University in downtown Seattle on Nov. 17th titled "Eliminating Human Trafficking: Challenges and Strategies" 7pm http://www.antiochseattle.edu/community/perspectives.html
• Human Trafficking Training to Soroptomist International Sedro-Woolley club, November 22nd at 12:30 p.m. meeting at the community center.

• Promoting: November Whatcom & King County Events: Freedom Prayer Gathering, Shared Hope International 'Do You Know Lacy?' Training in Bellingham, etc.
• Promoting Soroptomist International January 11th National Human Trafficking Day March
• Advising and promoting monthly human trafficking movie nights at Hillcrest Christian Fellowship in Mt. Vernon
• Ordering & making Skagit Against Slavery t-shirts, from Daughters/Sons of Cambodia!
• Planning Art/Music event in the Spring!

Family Support Center Fall Transitions

This summer, Mondays in the Family Support Center have been somewhat slower. Flower & berry picking in full, the majority of those we know and who come visit us have been working as much as possible. Some even 2-3 jobs, picking berries during the day and digging clams at night! Children have even been working the summer days, trying to help their parents make rent payments. We've been out in the camps, visiting people in their apartments, and getting things cleaned up and ready for the year.

Today, however, was another story: we had a consistent flow of families, some we know well, others first time in our doors. One couple we've known for a number of years was Ana & Antonio. A cold morning, I offered them tea as Salvio helped them fill out a housing application and we chatted about the picking season this summer. The work has actually been good, they tell me, not as many came up from California. However the migrant camps are shutting down soon, and this year they are deciding to not go back to California for the harvest season. Their three kids have had enough of the school and living transitions, they want to stay in Skagit. Yay! So, the search la busqueda begins for housing that's affordable, and the preparation begins for the upcoming winter when work for the parents is simply not available. After the housing application, they ask to gather clothing from our clothing closet and we talk about other resources. I can't help but think of the bears & squirrles that are gathering food right now for winter, to carry them through til Spring. If only it was so simple.

While chatting with Ana & Antonio, a newer Mixtec family came in, who I immediately directed to Salvio as I could tell that their Spanish was incredibly limited. Later he pulled me into the sanctuary to have a more private conversation with them, interpreting to me the horrific situation. It turns out the woman's husband had impregnated their 12-year-old daughter. He had been arrested and is jailed, but the daughter and other kids had been taken by CPS and are now living with another family member. A nightmarish situation in a foreign context with a system that is hard to navigate by educated English-speaking people. The mother wanted to know how she can get her kids back.

"We have court next week, and I want my kids back...can you help me?"
Knowing very little of the background, it seemed best to figure out if they had a lawyer and what they were working on with the family (and what they were assuming the family understood). I know enough of the system to know that CPS often puts requirements on the family, and there may be even protection orders between family members. More interpretation, Spanish-Mixtec-Spanish-Mixtec (thanks to Salvio!) and it turns out they have a lawyer but no idea where or who. After phone calls to our local public defender office, Salvio has the lawyer's name and has made an appointment for the family, which he will accompany them to. Although an interpreter will be provided for court next week, none is for appointments with lawyers. In these situations language is one barrier, as well as literacy, system navigation, let alone finding the lawyer's office.
As we wrap up, with the CPS and court primarily on the mother's mind, I encourage Salvio to tell her that we want to support her through this process, not just the legal but also the stress and trauma of the situation. I'd also be willing to meet with the daughter. The silence, the shame, the horror. I'm grateful for my experience with Skagit Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Services, to prepare and equip me for this work. However, not wanting to play too many roles, I also want to refer them to that agency, and advocate that they bring in a Mixtec interpreter.

Navigating the challenges of deportation and immigration were other themes of the day, and have been of the summer.
One woman I have been getting to know, had called me earlier, asking for $50 to put on her daughter's account in Northwest Detention Center. She was really sick last week and needed medication, but they don't have any money for it. She also needs money to make phone calls out. After talking with Salvio, we decided this was an appropriate use of our Emergency Funds money for a family I am increasingly getting to know. After trying to navigate a network of companies that contract with Detention to provide these services, and figure out how to not have TN's card info in an open account, it ended up being easiest to purchase a money order and mail it. Sometimes the old ways are the best ;)

While working through this, another woman came in, who I didn't know. Her brother was picked up last week and is now also in the NW Detention Center in Tacoma. She is going around to various places asking for letters of support and character references. Unfortunately, I had to tell her we can't write one, because he never came to Tierra Nueva and myself nor others here personally know him. We brainstormed other places and she went on her way.

The rest of the requests are more simple, people coming for their mail, for baby diaper coupons, and for clothing. We need the guidance and wisdom of Jesus as we navigate these situations, and at the end of the day, lay the burdens in his welcome and eager hands.

I'm grateful that Salvio and I had started out our day with the 'Midday Prayer' from the Common Prayer book: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals, which involved a St. Francis prayer, the Beatitudes, and the Lord's Prayer which we pray in Spanish:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring love,
Where there is injury, pardon...

Through our lives and by our prayers: may your Kingdom come!

Now, off to another day.

Early August justicia events...

On Thursday August 4th, our Skagit Against Slavery coalition hosted a Call+Response movie screening. It went really well, 140+ came, we had 8 booths with various ways people could respond to the issue of human trafficking..whether through sponsoring a placard in a WA state rest stop, buying TN coffee, going to an upcoming golf tournament to raise money for IJM, and/or donning a 'stop traffic' t-shirt.

Later that week I went to a Witness for Peace fundraising dinner called
Cafe Justicia. It was quite delightful even to my droopy eyes and weary feet. Id actually been reconsidering going to Oaxaca, but after the event Im less sure! Im reminded of how eager I am to go to area where so many of the families I know here in Skagit come from, a place that many can't return to nearly so easily. I also really want to learn what micro enterprises are happening there, what efforts are being taken to quelch the pervasive affects of NAFTA, and how FOOD, FARMS, and MIGRATION are really interconnected. However weighing all I have going on, and how much the trip is, I'm still not sure if it's best for me right now.

----------------------------------------
With hosting that event last week as well as the AK youth group and events at the migrant camps, I'm quite exhausted. I kept going this week, trying to continue with my regular commitments, plus going to a meeting with the Sheriff and Police Chiefs yesterday regarding a new policy that would affect undocumented immigrants, and taking the Sanchez kids to the Skagit County Fair. Yet Im increasingly aware that i am heading toward burning out and I need to make changes.

Gratefully, we had a group visiting this week from Florida who set inner healing prayer appointments with us individually, and then spoke on inner healing to a larger audience Mon & Tues nights. my appointment was very much needed and im still unpacking it.

This afternoon at my Skagit Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Services job, I read aloud a letter (interpreting the letter from English to Spanish) to a woman from her daughter who is in Tacoma Detention Center. It detailed abuse she endured from her boyfriend that the mother knew little about. She stopped me a one point saying she couldn't hear any more. I couldn't either. 'Why do men do this to women?" she kept asking me in a flood of hysterical tears. "Why, seniorita?" Tears were my only answer, so we sat in tears as I let her cry, and unable to hold mine back anymore either.

There is so much beauty and pain around me, I'm immensely grateful. However sometimes it feels as though the latter dominates. I'm realizing I need a break, a vacation, to turn the computer off, my phone off, not plan events, and not respond to crisis calls.

Even though I'm on the domestic violence/sexual assault hotline next week, I need a break NOW more than ever. So, phones coming with, I'm off to a cabin on a lake for the week!

Pentecost: An out-pouring of God's presence on ALL people.

There are three of us now who are regular 'jail chaplains' in the women's jail. I go a couple of Sundays a month, from 1-2pm, and either lead or co-lead 2 half-hour Bible Studies for the different female pods. If you are interested in more of these Bible Studies, see the blog, http://skagitwomensjail.blogspot.com/.

Since I led the Bible study yesterday, I'm sharing those with you this week. It is a blessing to go and be with these women. Below is a summary of our reading and convo...

the ladies entered the all-purpose room, wearing red. I know it wasn't their choice, but i couldn't help but comment on the fact that their jail gear is bright red, and how believers around the world today are wearing red in honor of Pentecost. What happened on Pentecost they ask? We read Acts 2...

The believers were gathered in a room,
and suddenly an indoor windstorm,
fire on their heads,
and the Spirit of God poured out on them.

I ask the ladies...
What were the believers doing? Reading Scripture? Praying? Worshiping?
We dont know...just know that they were gathered.

What do we need to be doing to receive God? Have our lives together? Be clean?
How many of us have believed we need to have our 'act together'?
....most raise their hands, and tears well up in the eyes of a lady directly across from me.

God's Spirit came and poured out on them. It poured. It didn't dribble.
How often do we expect a dribble? A portion? Do we ask for God to bless our court, our children, not expecting more than a dribble? Our hearts are hurting, aching to be loved, yet we ask for a dribble, for a small touch, and God POURS.

What keeps us from asking for and expecting an out-pouring of God's presence, love, and goodness in our lives?
...we don't believe we deserve it. Others do. Not us. We're in jail.
...we believe we need to have our life together in order to get anything good...let alone God's goodness and love for us.

What if God wants to pour out on ALL people, regardless of our behavior, our thoughts, our character? What if he just asks we say sorry, ask for forgiveness, and turn to him, opening our hands to receive? Are our hands clenched, unable to receive?

Peter explains that this out-pouring fulfilled the prophecy of Joel...
that God's Spirit would pour on ALL people, men and women...and even the servants.
And all those who turn to God for help will be saved.

Who are today's 'servants', or those who are controlled by others, looked down on by society? 'us', the ladies answer. 'Criminals, felons, drug addicts, homeless, us.'

What if God welcome us as we are? Do we want it? Do you know God is for you?

the gift is there. Sometimes we have our fists clenched and we can't receive the gift. When we say we are sorry, when we 'repent, and receive God's forgiveness through Jesus', we are opening our hands, and receive God's forgiveness... and His presence!

A lady shares that sometimes, its hardest to forgive ourselves. we invite them to open their hands, to ask for God's help in all things, even asking for forgiveness. we invite God's Spirit to come and begin praying for the ladies individually, playing a song from United Pursuit band on the iPod player. these are some of the words...
I lean not on my own understanding,
my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven.

If i open up my hands will you fill them again?

I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open.
There's nothing I hold onto.

the tears flow around the room as the Spirit comes and touches each one. two ladies that used to hate each other, are crying. One, who just got back into jail Saturday, shoves her chair closer to the other, leans her head on her shoulder, and soon are embracing and sobbing.

it is beautiful to see God's love & presence embracing these women who are locked up, welcoming them as they are. it is also hard to hit such a vulnerable emotional place with them, and then back to their cells they go, the 1/2 hour is up. Yet, I thank the LORD, who is not dependent on me. May God continue to move this week, embracing these women and speaking to them in the jail.

summer volunteers at TN

One of the things that has kept me busy this summer, is planning and organizing some volunteer trips. This summer we've had two adult home groups, the youth group from Seattle's Bethany Pres Church, as well as just last week a youth group from Fairbanks, Alaska come up to volunteer! Unfortunately for the first two, the rain persisted, but everyone dug in...whether literally into the muddy farm and garden, as well as metaphorically into the various other projects taken on. The AK group had the best weather, definitely soaked up the sun!

Some highlights:
BPC adult home group trip: in May, the same adult home group from the summer before and my parent's home group journeyed to Tierra Nueva to again jump in wherever needed. In one work day, they re-hauled our deteriorating TN Garden, weeded & planted like mad at the farm, and took a long lunch break listening to some TN program updates. At the end of the weekend , I drove the Sanchez kids home after our worship service. From the backseat questions we're flying instigated by the Godly Play time that one BPC member had led:
"How did Jesus die? Did he suffer? Why did he die? How did he get out of the tomb?"
Questions that had never come up before with these kids, had been provoked by the simple creativity of the Godly Play model. It was fun to answer their eager questions, prompt new ones for them, and reiterate God's love for them.

Not only that, but our farm, garden, children's room, library, kitchen (stocked with soup and bread mixes!) are all much enhanced as a result of your presence with us...as well as staff who got to hang out with you. Thank you.

In June, the BPC youth group stepped in where the adult home group had left off! In the TN garden, they attacked the persistent weeds, tried our weed-wacking, & planted flower seeds. They also painted chalkboard paint in a kids area at TN, re-hauled our clothing closet, and amazed our farm coordinators with their energy and willingness to dig in on the farm.

They so loved the farm, that they've continued to come up and help on harvest days, and have even recruited BPC families to buy shares and set up a deliver system to Seattle! This Sunday Holly, Salvio, & Victoria will share about the farm at BPC's services. For more info on the farm, go to: http://newearthfarm.wordpress.com/farm-blog/

Last week, 12 youth and 3 adults came from the First Pres Church of Fairbanks AK. Their youth group had a great time, running full-on VBS activities at the migrant camps, working on the farm, getting to know TNers, and coming to the Call+Response movie. We did a reflection activity on Friday, and many were motivated to 'be change-makers', start 'anti-trafficking' groups at their school, volunteer in the jail someday, be more involved in social justice issues...as well as had poignant descriptions of where and how they had seen God, ways they had heard him afresh, and renewed motivation to love people and love God more fully. It was really beautiful to see the intermingling of faith and justice that arose from their experiences with us at Tierra Nueva.

Thank you all!!!

grieved afresh by violence...

Im grieved afresh by the violence that comes too close. Two incidences in two days.

... there was a fatal shooting this weekend in an apartment complex--known for its gang involvement. Its unclear who was involved in the shooting, but is clearly impacting our communities.

...working at the shelter, Ive become used to meeting women leaving abusive partners--when I meet them there. However, when its people I know at TN, people who have become friends, who I care for, are violent towards each other...these pervasive realities strike too close to home. This evening, after some sabbath time at Deception Pass, I was pulled back into the reality of those I accompany by a phone call from a young woman Ive been spending time with. Her boyfriend beat her again today, and this time she'd had enough. So I met her at TN, where she'd walked to in her socks, with no time to put her shoes on. She's safe now, although hurting physically and emotionally.

Tomorrow we meet as TN staff from 8:30-12, then I work at the DV shelter from 2-11pm.

how am I right now? grieved.
I hate violence. But I think it is a taste of God's heart I feel right now...anger & grief at the violence that people have suffered under themselves that contributes to their own violence, at the violence enacted on others, at the cycles that people are caught in.

We need God to break into this world, to bring life, hope, peace to the broken & dark places and people. I am daily all the more aware of this, and I do believe God is breaking in. Please pray with me for our friends who are suffering right now, for God to meet me them in their pain whether 'victim' or 'victimizer' as the distinctions are never so black and white.

Nefarious: Merchant of Souls

If you are interested, this is a movie that was recently produced by www.exoduscry.org. There are scenes, even from this trailer, that I saw in Thailand & Cambodia.

Nefarious Merchant of Souls is a hard-hitting documentary exposing the undercurrent of injustice beneath the surface of sex-tourism. Millions of women and children around the world are increasingly becoming the expendable pawns of a burgeoning business catering to the demand for illicit sex. These women and children are dehumanized and exploited while mainstream culture remains complicit in their demise. Benji Nolot goes undercover to reveal the plight of the exploited and uncover the hypocrisy and complicity of cultures around the world that foster this industry, as well as offer an unexpected hope for comprehensive change. www.NefariousDocumentary.com

@NefariousMovie

safe return home...

A huge thank you to all of you who have been praying for me this past month! I am so grateful to have been able to go on this trip. It has really been a dream trip, as I thought it would be. I have learned so much, and do feel changed by what I have seen and heard.

My heart feels heavy for what I have witnessed and the stories I have heard:

for the little children that beg on the streets,

for the people that live on the dumps,

for the women who line the streets waiting for customers,

for those who are raped again and again and again every night under the guise of prostitution.

(yes, some may 'choose', but even that choice is largely due to economic reasons so it is not really a choice).

for those who continue to fear for their survival, hand to mouth being far less than terminology,

for those who are traumatized by the war that raged

No, the stories are not new, and are not rare

Yet I feel very alive, and very grateful.

These voices, these faces, these stories, propel me

into a greater thirst for our GOD to come

for a KINGDOM come that is love, peace, joy...true freedom, wholeness, and intimacy.

into a deeper belief & conviction that change is possible

for corrupt systems, gender discrimination, oppressive working conditions, perpetual destructive cycles

into a thankfulness

for the many organizations and people that are going after, loving and stopping for the one.

into a refreshing relief

for the fact that change is not all up to me ;)

There are a couple themes from the organizations I met with that I

have come to see as ESSENTIAL:

• worship worship WORSHIP. "worship is what is changing the systems, the structures, the patterns at play". ~worship leader/social worker in Pattaya. In response to my question about the roots of trafficking, and my guess in the strong economic pull, the WV Cambodia Trauma Recovery Project Director, replied: "Yes, economic....but it is the enemy that wants to destroy these girls. This war needs supernatural intervention. We pray. I see the Lord's intervention whenever these girls stand up with confidence in court."

• reintegration with the community is the goal if possible: building the best institutional care (shelters, housing, etc), is only steps to reintegrating the individual. 'Center life is the last resort'.
• education: literacy, unformal education, as well job training is essential for the individual to be empowered to make changes, see hope for the future, and step into new possibilities for providing for themselves
• holistic care: providing a variety of services such as counseling, childcare, transportation to and from home and job site, small-business loans for parents/families so they can provide for their children after leaving a shelter, school supplies, scholarships, life skill classes, etc.
• individualized: each case is different, and thus care of each individual needs to look different and be catered to that person's needs
• quality not quantity of care
• peer education: whether street youth, or women who used to work on the streets, many are going back to their communities and talking with their peers or the younger children about the risks of following the same path, as well as the other opportunities available.
• follow-up: staff follow up with the individual after they 'leave the program', some for 10 months, some for 2 years, some for 10 years, it will depend on the individual and obviously the age. Follow up is essential so the person is supported and can really stabilize in their new environment. An individual can also be empowered through follow-up to impact their own community and in turn help to stop the cycles.
• income generation/job opportunities: a huge variety of income generating projects have been developed for a range of ages and backgrounds, from: making cards, jewelry, artisan goods, clothing (designing, sewing, and screen-printing), beauty salons, restaurants, cafes, bakeries, car mechanical work. People in these jobs can learn the soft skills, as well as a variety of skills from customer service to the actual 'hard skill'of cooking to painting nails.
• staff care: staff directly involved meet with outside counselors in addition to regular supervision with inside staff, staff meetings that are life-giving, nourishing, and increase staff connectness and sense of being part of a cohesive whole.

I look forward to seeing how I can integrate these themes into my own work. I am full of stories, ideas, thoughts...and right now, sleepiness. Yet I am home. Thanks for journeying with me.

now, for cambodia...

ANGKOR WAT...

Like many who go to Cambodia, I followed the tourist trail and visited the famous Angkor Wat temples. Their trees that have penetrated the ancient temple walls are known to many, even angelina jolie and her movie 'tomb raider'.

PHNOM PENH....

My mind is buzzing. Ive been here since last Friday and its been great to catch up with my dear friend Kara, meet with various organizations, and learn more about the history and culture of Cambodia. Kara is volunteering as a leadership resident for an organization called Harpswell, which provides girls from rural villages the opportunity to go to university. Their passion and dedication to learn is very inspiring! She is also teaching at a university, attending mainly by students from wealthy privileged families. Wednesday I will teach 3 of her social studies classes, on sex trafficking!


Phnom Penh is a city that has been in the process of restoring itself from being a 'ghost town' during the years of the Khmer Rouge (1975-1979) to around 2 million people! Unfortunately in the past years, the booming construction projects have meant eviction notices for thousands living in slums, some coming home to their whole community being burned down. I witnessed one of these former sites on Monday, as I walked around with Steve from Servants of Asia's Urban Poor. He pointed out to me the new buildings that are constructed, as well as empty plots where families used to live under tarp roofs supported by bamboo poles. Around the corner is their Justees store where guys in recovery from drugs are silk-screening t-shirts with social justice quotes. Click on the link to see more & order t-shirts!

Since 1/4 of the population was either killed or died due to malnutrition or disease during the terrible genocide led by Pol Pot, there is no one in Cambodia left unaffected. Near the center of town, is Tuol Seng, or S-21, the Phnom Penh High School turned prison by the Khmer Rouge. It is a horrific and eery place, with makeshift brick cells constructed in old classrooms, chalkboards still lining the walls. Former torture devices are left on broken beds, and pictures of inmates stare hauntily back at you. Between 17,000-20,000 people were jailed and brutally tortured here in the 4 years of the Khmer Rouge.

Now, PP is a bustling city with motorcycles and tuks tuks packing the streets. It is said that Cambodia has more NGO's then any other country in the world (for better & worse). Fair trade opportunities seem to be all around, with quite a few income generating projects from t-shirt companies, to salons, to coffee shops (Ive been enjoying the food & coffee from as many as I can!)

However, corruption & bribery still abound. I met with International Justice Mission today, who told me that after the Khmer Rouge, only 7 lawyers remained in the entire country, since so many professionals were killed. Now, government officials, police, teachers, etc get paid an average of $40/month. Bribery is thus quite the temptation, if not common practice. Enforcing justice is a problem to say the least. However, IJM persistently trains police and speaks with government officials, in addition to rescuing victims and connecting them to aftercare services.

I also got to visit Daughters of Cambodia today, eat in their delicious cafe, get another pedicure at their salon, buy some beautiful organic naturally-died & fair trade clothing made by the girls, and talk for a couple hours with one of their staff! It is another very impressive and holistic enterprise that opens its door to people who choose to leave the sex industry. Right now they have about 90 girls and 10 guys working in their various businesses.

This week I will also meet with:

• Hagar International (thursday)
  
• World Vision (friday)
  

I am quite excited to learn from these organizations--ideas are already popping in my brain! I have admired what they are doing from afar, and it is a privilege to meet with their staff and learn first hand.

final days with iris thailand team

The last weekend with the team included:
Worship night at Tamar, on one of the main nightlife streets,

followed with passing out more roses to the working girls up and down the street, passing many a caucasian male along the way...

We also hosted a large community block party at the Crossing (a skateboard park/youth hang-out) for the youth as well as kids from Hand to Hand preschool. After a roasted pig, many balloon-stomping games, bubbles, face-painting, & praying for some people. One woman we had been praying for, experienced a powerful and visible freedom from a lot of fear and anxiety. She went from coughing intensely to, as we transitioned to praying for more of the Holy Spirit, joy spreading across her face and beginning to laugh heartily and freely. Her laughter was contagious and we all ended in a fit of laughter. This led us easily into starting a prayer tunnel in the middle of the street!


And:

• worshipped at a Thai church service that opens its doors to many of the women and ladyboys that Tamar meets in the bars. I got to sit in the back and pray with 3 'ladyboys', and joyfully witness the Father's love enwrap them, literally hugging themselves and smiling in the new warmth they felt.
• lunch meeting with Patricia King where we got to hear some of her heart for the children who are trafficked there from Cambodia, leading them to open a safe house.
• prayed for each other! As a team, we took turns, blessing and praying over each other. Beautiful and encouraging words. I am so grateful to have been apart of this team and look forward to hearing how God continues to guide Iris in starting a Thailand base. Many encouraged Iris to in the north where many of the girls come from--get to the root.
  

May God move the mountains and, as they say, open the Heavens!

pattaya: prostitution expected

The past couple of days in Pattaya have been joyously packed, visiting various organizations and participating in their outreaches. Here is a snipet...

The first night we walked along the main strips, from 'walking street' along 'beach road' where hundreds of women lined the benches waiting for customers. I guessed we saw about 1000 women that first night, and I thought that was immense. In fact, there are 20,000 people working in prostitution in this city. Seeing numerous faces, 20,000 starts to lose its distance.

A missionary we talked to, said that he met a 13 year old girl on beach road a couple months ago. He asked her how old she was, 'sixteen', and looked nervously back at what turned out to be her parents. Her parents were selling her out.

Yesterday we joined up with United Christian Ministries (all the local Christian orgs come together EVERY week to worship and pray for each other. beautiful.) Afterwards we had lunch atTamar's restaurant, which is one of their income generating projects for women exiting prostitution. They also have a bakery, a salon, card-making business, jewelry, and English-classes.

Tamar's salon was next, which is right on one of the main strips with bars all around. Even at 2pm in the afternoon, girls were sitting outside the nearby bars, some dancing in the streets, as I got a pedicure. The two bars next to us are 'ladyboy' bars, or transgender. I chatted with a woman who used to be a man at the next door bar. In asking her about her clients: "some of them are good, some are bad" she told me. She's from the north of Thailand, as most of them are. They come to work, mostly 'voluntarily'. They are free to go but feel there is no other economic option for them. Some are divorced and have kids to provide for

back home.

After salon time, we split up to do outreach with Tamar, Yonnie and I went with a Thai Tamar staff who used to work in the 'business'. She has been out for 6yrs and is soon back to her home village to work with children and women. We gave roses to three women who were

working in a bar. It was around 5pm, so business was slow and we were able to buy drinks for the girls and sit and chat with them for about 40 minutes. It was very different from outreach with Nightlight were we had to watch the girls dance and then try and talk with them over blaring music. One of the girls, spoke English pretty well. She had an American boyfriend for about 6 years, he's 68 now and is a retired teacher. He recently had a stroke so his family, wife and children, came over from the US to care for him and bring him home. She said they treated her well, as he had, even though she was his Thai mistress.

That night we also briefly walked around an area known for child prostitution and sweatshops (24/7 tailors). Child prostitution is very hidden, some areas are completely blocked off. So we didnt see any children. However numerous small family-run tailor factories were open and running. We prayed through the streets and for a building that a missionary family is thinking about buying to provide a play area and activities for the children.

Thursday morning, we entered into a different world...Thai jails. We handed out sandwiches and water and tried our best to chat through the bars, but mainly using hand signals as the ones I 'spoke' to we're mainly Cambodian. They come to work in Thailand, the girls in the bars, the men in construction. Many apparently come knowing there is a risk that they will work and then their employers will report them and will get deported unpaid. Since tiny food portions are distributed twice a day, unless people have family in the area and can bring food, the inmates go hungry. So, the local Jail Ministry does what the police allows them to...gives out food and water.

Its a privilege to be here. There are so many more stories, and photos. But hopefully this gives a taste.

Bangkok: praying in bars & hosting a block party for the homeless & prostitutes

It's crazy that I just left Seattle a week ago today! A lot has happened as seems to be the case. Myself and 15 others have been in Bangkok, first staying at a YWAM base, and now at a hostel in central Bangkok. The first couple of days we're fairly restful, with good chunks of time in the afternoon to rest and get over jetlag begin adjusting our eyes to the many sights and sounds of bangkok! We've had the delight of enjoying thai food, including 'chicken on a stick' as depicted in the photo.

Worship & prayer are definitely centerpieces to our ‘work’ here. We worship together at some point every day and have been seriously blessing (& surprising!) various missionaries and staff we meet through prophetic prayer. Yesterday, a long-time staff at Nightlight thanked us after our time of worship and prayer together. They usually pray for an hour before going out to the bars. She said usually she’s ready to give more to volunteers then to receive, and ready to get out there to the bars. But tonight, “I’m experiencing such blessing being prayed for and soaking in the presence of God during this worship time, that I don’t want to leave! I’m so blessed by this time and you all!”


We’ve worshipped in the middle of a park, prayed with Thai women waiting for customers in the broad daylight where every block they are waiting to be picked up and taken to the many hourly motels, prayed last night in bars where women were dancing for white foreign customers, and tonight prayed for healing at a community block party we helped put on! Much to the amazement of all, a number of people were physically healed and we got to feed around 300 people! A number of bad knees & backs, one elderly woman’s sight was almost fully restored, and about 5 deaf people got some if not all of their hearing back! It was beautiful to watch their faces change as they either started to hear or see for the first time, beginning to blink their eyes anew without glasses or start making sounds and shocked by the noise of it. One man described warmth he felt rising in his chest upwards to eventually reach his ears—and pop! His ears were opened! The two ladies in the photo with me were completely deaf and began to hear for the first time!

For those who know me, this is definitely not my ‘usual’ mode of operation—worship and prayer. But I am oh so grateful.

Seeing the older white men walking hand in hand with young Thai girls has been just as disturbing as I thought it would be. Selling sex is insanely prevalent and expected. In some neighborhoods, it is Thai women servicing Thai men. Other blocks or areas there are ‘lady boys’ waiting for men, and then there are the redlight districts that are flooded with foreigners. Some of these districts are for Western men, with Thai girls dancing on the stages—like the one we visited last night. At this hotel, a couple men were eyeing our two tables of 20 mainly white women who were about to go out to the bars that night to meet the girls. One American even came up and asked if we were working (in other words, working as prostitutes).

(This photo is the jewelry made by the women at Nightlight. I can't post photos online, but can show you when I get home!)

I’ve got much more to say about this prostitution-filled world. But this is the taste for now. Thank you and please keep praying. Today we visit a couple of churches, and Monday head to Pattaya.