Waters of Baptism and the last weeks at Tierra Nueva

Today was my last staff meeting...it feels quite surreal! Although I will still come to our worship services and be around some, it will definitely be sad and a huge transition to not be staff anymore. As I finish up my last weeks at Tierra Nueva, I wanted to share some of the recent happenings...

One of the women I've spent a lot of time with over the years, chose to get baptized a couple of weekends ago! She also wanted to dedicate her five children to God, which I got to do out in the Skagit River!  This is a family I know well, having been present at the birth of her youngest girl, at hospitals with others, and taking others swimming at lakes, and sledding at Mt. Baker.  It was a beautiful moment for all, a testimony she wanted to make in front of our faith community and her family and friends.

In the months prior, we've been going through the Genesis Process, a relapse prevention program.  This Process helps us to identify our false beliefs that drive our emotions and behavior often without our awareness. By getting at the roots of our issues, inviting Jesus to speak truth to these lies we've believed, we are able to move out of the muck into greater freedom.  It's been beautiful to see her pursue this with such conviction and determination.

As she stood in the water before this crowd of people, many who had never been to church, she shared how she wants to leave her past ways behind, letting her false beliefs and addictions go under the water of baptism, be cleansed by the blood of Jesus and filled by the Holy Spirit.   Please continue to pray for her as she move towards Jesus and the freedom she is experiencing.

Family Festival!
This weekend we had our 2nd Family Festival, put on by Bethany Presbyterian Church.  It was a ton of fun and great to see families out enjoying themselves!  Thanks for those who helped!

Last Jail Bible Study:
I did my last Bible Study on Sunday and was blown away, again, by God's goodness, love, and presence! Before we even started, one woman shared that she woke up this morning feeling happy, really joy-filled amidst the challenges she’s going through.  She asked us: "Is this the Holy Spirit that you guys talk about? Ive wondered but not known.  The first time I was here with you 4 months ago, I felt hope. Now I feel happy. In the past I've always woken up to take a hit of heroine.  This is the first time Ive felt like this and it feels better than any hit! I can't explain it, cause my life isn't any better. So I'm wondering if its the Holy Spirit! Cause its amazing!”After all feeling quite moved by her testimony, we invited her to pray, and with shock, she exclaimed, ‘I cant pray professional prayers like you all’. We reminded her that its not about sounding professional, but praying from the heart.  She started praying one of the most heartfelt and beautiful prayers I've ever heard, blessing and praying for the other women.

Being with these women in the jail, has been a beautiful and powerful experience for me. Like this past Sunday, I have often left in awe at who God is and his persistent love and mercy for us!

I am incredibly grateful to have been part of this community for over 6 years.   I welcome your prayers, for myself, my friends, the people I've walked alongside, the community here at Tierra Nueva, and for Kenny and I as we get married and head into a much different season!  Thank you all for your support and prayers.

Transitioning from Tierra Nueva...

It is with an array of emotions, that I write to tell you all that I am transitioning out of Tierra Nueva. These past six years at TN have been some incredible years of growth, challenges, tears, laughter, deep communion and encounter with God, and rich times with a beautiful and diverse community. I am truly a changed person and deeply grateful for this experience. By the grace and power of God I have also impacted and loved well those whom God has brought in front of me.

Besides Family Support Center, Jail Chaplaincy, and TN Leadership team responsibilities which I have previously described, I walked alongside people facing a variety of challenges, enjoyed many a meal in people’s homes, started coalitions to address the local sex trafficking reality, planned numerous community events, presented more than 50 times on Human Trafficking and the Face of Immigration, attended countless community meetings, and in the beginning years, worked at 3 other social work jobs while finishing grad school.

It’s been an incredibly full, life-giving, as well as intense 6 years! 

I have been saying that ‘at some point I need to take a break from advocacy work’, perhaps a Sabbatical from ministry after 6 years. In India I had a break from being in ‘direct service’ with people in crisis. It was relieving and yet definitely not relief. Being in India, let alone living in a slum and connecting with organizations in Kolkata’s red-light district is not exactly restful.

Although I’ve returned to similar work in Skagit Valley, I am aware that I need the longer break I’ve been talking about.

Also, as Kenny and I get married in September, we will be entering into a new season of life together. Now we get to discern together what God is inviting us into—and where! This is very exciting! We are thrilled about joining our lives and listening to God together. 

We also recognize that both of us have been immersed in complex ministries. We feel that it is important to take some time after we get married for rest and renewal, starting our marriage with good foundation, visiting some other contexts and organizations, and discerning together where God is leading us. As we step away from our contexts, we are hoping to gain perspective on what was and what could be; discern the task, place, community, people, and organization to which we can both say a full yes and commit. That might be Tierra Nueva. It might be Servants. It might be something else. We are not sure—but we are okay with the uncertainty!

As a result, I am transitioning out of Tierra Nueva in the middle of August for a year of rest, training, and discernment. We will get married September 13th, go on a honeymoon, and then come back to pack up and help with the first session of TN’s Certificate in Transformational Ministry course. After the course, we will spend the fall with our families and friends around the US, resting at my parents cabin, as well as receiving prayer and ministry time. Come January we are planning to go to Central America. We hope to go to Oaxaca, Mexico to visit some people I know who’ve been deported, spend time in Guatemala to do language school and get to know Inner Change (similar to Servants), visit TN Honduras, as well as a Nicaraguan family I’ve known for 10 years. We sense God encouraging us (two planners!) to not plan out every detail, but keep our hands open. We welcome your discernment with us!

In recognition of the importance of this season, Tierra Nueva leadership has agreed for me to continue receiving financial support for 6 months after I transition out in August.  If you feel inclined to support us in this season, we welcome your support financially and as always through prayer! We look forward to seeing how God leads us and will keep you posted! Thank you for journeying with me through my time at Tierra Nueva.  

Jesus recruiting mobsters

Every Sunday our Women's Jail Chaplain team goes into the jail to do Bible studies. Our studies have a particular flavor, guided by our training on dialogical Bible studies. For more info and examples, check out Bob Ekblad's book, Reading the Bible with the Damned. We ask a lot of questions trying to engage the group in discovering good news in the texts and applying it to their lives. It's amazing how the stories come alive for me too as I come to know and experience Jesus afresh!  I thought I'd share an example with you here.

This past Sunday, we looked at the story of Jesus recruiting Levi (Matthew) in Luke 5: 27-32. After describing the pharisees and the tax collectors, I invited them to replace the terms with present day language. The woman chose 'church leaders' and 'mobster/IRS'. 

So we read the story...
On his way out of town, Jesus sees Levi in his mobster's car, and invites him to be a disciple. Levi leaves everything and follows Jesus. He then throws a big party for Jesus in his home, with Jesus as the guest of honor, inviting other mobsters and friends. But the church leaders complained to Jesus disciples, 'Why do you eat and drink with such scum?" Jesus answers, 'healthy people don't need a doctor--sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent."

Here are snippets of our conversation as I invite the group to look closely at the story (the women's answer follow the questions)...

--What was Levi doing when Jesus called him? Was he at a church? Was he seeking Jesus? No!!! He was at his booth.. Kicking back in his car, dealing drugs maybe, or running money.
--Where do we usually think we need to be to meet Jesus? In church. Cleaned up. Sometimes we think we have to have it all together before going to God.
--What's different about this story? Jesus finds Levi. 

--So who followed who in this story? Jesus follows Levi to his house to go hang out with him and his homies. He doesn't invite him to church, or to meet him somewhere 'safe', but Jesus wants to come and hang out with the Levi...and his homies. When you hear this story, is there any place that says that we need to have our acts together to come to Jesus? NO!! 
---Have you felt Jesus pursuing you? Yes, but it's scary and feels like I need to give up too much. 

One lady asks what repent means, so I invite the group to brainstorm.
It means owning up to your actions, remorse, change, recognize that you made a mistake. Turning around and heading a new direction.  We all recognize how hard this is, but discuss how Jesus make us able as he comes to us, wanting to know us and help us to change.

--Has Jesus ever called you? Have any of you ever felt or heart God, in the middle of doing something wrong? One lady shares a story of when she was 14 years old, and about to do something wrong, and "there was a voice inside that kept saying 'don't do it!' but I ended up doing it anyways and got in trouble for it. I know that that inner voice was God and I should've listen to it." Yes!! When God speaks, most times it's not an audible voice. It's often an impression, a picture, an inclination.
--What was the cost of following Jesus? Left the gang, money, status, position, job/power. The women quickly identify with the costs. 

--What do the pharisees or church leaders do in this story? They complain, refer to the mobsters as scum.
--Have any of you felt treated like this before? Many women nod. One lady shares, I went to church and it was all good until they found out that I was gay.. they pretty much shun me after that. Another lady says, I feel like I need to clean up my acts in front of the church people.  We talked about how hard this experience is for many, when in reality, Jesus meets us where we are at, comes after us!

--So is this a Jesus that you feel attracted to? Most of the woman nod pretty enthusiastically.  One woman shares how things come alive in these Bible stories and she gets it.  Jesus is different than she thought.  I invite them to pray with me and ask Jesus to show us how He sees us and if there is anything he is inviting us to leave behind.

After praying, I ask if anyone wants to share anything that they felt like God was showing them. One woman begins talking about how she's in a bad relationship right now with a man.  As she was praying, she felt like it would be best to leave him since they are both bad for each other right now. She's scared, but she keeps hearing that small voice that tells her that this is the best thing for both of them.  The other women began encouraging her, one woman shares her own related story and sings a song for her, and together we prayed for the woman, for wisdom and strength to listen to Jesus.

Another lady breaks down and shares about the resentments she has for friends and family that have put her in the jail. She knows that the right thing is to forgive, but can't right now. We talked about the challenge of forgiveness, and prayed for this woman.

As the guards banged open the door, the women repeatedly thanked us for coming and for all of you who pray for them. They are truly appreciative! Please continue to pray for the women and for us as we lead these times.  I'm continually amazed how God is present in these times with the women.  One of our values at Tierra Nueva is 'mutual liberation' and it is definitely something I experience as I go into the jail on Sundays. How grateful I am that Jesus comes after us, meets us where we are at and empowers us to change!  

Transformational Ministry on the Margins: new TN workers and videos!

The past couple of years at Tierra Nueva, we've been praying for more workers to come and join us. No longer are we starting up new projects, but we are seeking to better accompany the people God has brought to us. 

Sometimes, I've felt a bit like Moses, complaining to God, “I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me.” God responds by telling Moses to bring him 70 of Israel’s leaders to the tabernacle. “I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them.  They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone.” (Numbers 11:10-17).

Last year, God answered our prayer in beautiful and unexpected ways, bringing people to fill exactly the roles we were hoping, and more!  God spoke to Julio, who I mentioned in my last newsletter, bringing him back to Skagit after many years.  He is now the 'doorkeeper' at TN and one of my coworkers at the Family Support Center.  It has been a delight to have him around, learn from him, and see him come alive this past year as he grows in boldness and love for those around him. 

This year we are again seeking new Women's Advocates, Administrative Assistant, Children's Ministry helpers, a Men's Recovery House Assistant Director, and a Business/Marketing Director for New Earth Works.  We have already have the possibility of a couple of Women's Advocates and we'd love your prayer and recommendations if you know other people to send our way!  For more info go to: http://www.tierra-nueva.org/ and click on 'Get Involved'.  Also, there is a new Certificate course that TN is offering starting this fall, called Transformation Ministry on the Margins (in the US and UK!), for more info see: http://www.tierra-nueva.org/upcoming-tps-courses/

Finally, a new beautiful video that the same Christian news station did on the Tierra Nueva and our Underground Coffee business:

I am grateful to work alongside Julio, Zach, and the many others connected to Tierra Nueva.  Our work would not be possible without the support of many! Please continue to join us in praying for the ministry, for financial support, and for God's Spirit to come and infiltrate this Valley!

What am I doing now back at TN?

Abide in me, as I abide in you.
Jesus invites his followers to stay rooted and connected to him. Apart from him, we not only won't bear fruit, we can do nothing! (John 15). Last week, I became aware of feeling like I have either a smaller 'tank' or a leak and I need to be replenished by God quite often. Although the realities around me are grievous and disheartening at times, I think it is the responsibility and weight of my actions that is particularly draining. I constantly have decisions that could affect someone’s well-being: housing, heat/water utilities, food, diapers, access to resources, etc. There is no distance to crisis situations. Heidi Baker (Iris Ministries) encourages those in full-time ministry, to prioritize (a lot of) time with God and with friends and family. We will be more 'fruitful' if we are full and rested! Despite all I've learned from Trauma Stewardship and other resources, I’m definitely still trying to figure out this balance and welcome your prayers.

In the midst of this awareness, the transitions, preparing for marriage (see below!), for the time being I'm back into my former roles with some new developments and emphasis on SUPPORT & TRAINING. I have stepped out of the local trafficking work. Although I am checking in on those involved, I don’t feel like God is inviting me to have a prominent role in that work here. I have enough going on at Tierra Nueva!

Leadership Council: I'm apart of a small team that makes larger structural decisions, vision-casting, oversees & supports staff, and figures out some of TN's nuts & bolts.

Women's Jail ministry: I'm temporarily overseeing the Women's Jail Ministry team, with 3 new staff chaplains. So I've been doing Bible Studies most Sundays to train and support the other chaplains.

FSC Co-Director: We are now a team of 5! Besides Salvio and myself, Paul, Elisa (new apprentice), and Julio (three on right in photo). We have been enjoying meeting together on Monday mornings to pray for particular families before the drop-in hours. Julio returned to TN a year ago, having known Bob for many years. He's a living miracle who is passionate about doing 'missions' and providing support and care for those who come through our doors...as well as out on the street. He started daily morning, midday, and evening prayer times (without knowing that is part of church tradition!) for homeless and marginalized people in the neighborhood. It has been a joy to work alongside him, learning from him and training him in advocacy—something he received himself through the FSC around 18 years ago! 

I also continue to accompany and advocate for families I've been connected to for years, assisting with ongoing U-Visa cases, visiting people in their homes, and recently helping one woman and her kids get out of a dangerous relationship.

Staff support & trainings: In addition to training & supervising Elisa & Julio in the FSC, I'm supporting other staff and working with other TNers to develop our Advocacy Training. We will be putting on another Training this coming May-June at a local church in Mt. Vernon for church members who want to be better equipped accompanying those on the margins of society.

We welcome your prayers as we continue to navigate life and ministry at Tierra Nueva! 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

Doing the splits...

I never was able to do the splits. It hurts and doesn't seem like it should be humanly possible.  In many ways in life, I feel like I'm often trying to do the splits between the different worlds that I straddle--being 'bridge-builders' we call it at Tierra Nueva. Whether its Skagit and Seattle, charismatic and social justice, jail and the church 'on the outs', communities of new Mexican immigrants and primarily Anglo communities, and now India and the USA. 

I now am home, or back in the US. Since I was born, I've actually felt at home in many places not represented by my passport. The differences, as always are stark...
I stand staring at Trader Joe's cheese section--once again shocked by the choices.

I walk the streets at dusk--amazed that I can go blocks without seeing a person or a moving car.  

I throw my laundry into two different machines and its done in a couple of hours.  

I drink from the tap, wash veggies from the tap, and brush my teeth from the tap. 

I shower, whenever I want, with hot water--always.  

And these are just the minor differences.  

I don't think I'll ever get used to doing the splits. Sure the stark differences always fade with time, but I think it will always hurt a bit.  Or at least can feel like I'm pulling at two different bungee cords, trying to connect them, and they're not quite long enough so just keep snapping back to place.  

I wrote the below poem while I was in India, living in a very different neighborhood, my heart breaking with the reality of thousands (millions?) of families living outdoors and thousands who sell their bodies day and night.  Maybe by sharing these glimpses, I'm inviting you to hold these worlds in tension and help me bring them together. 

India, will things change?

Will the homeless families who live on the streets ever move indoors?

There's a couple who live outside just kitty corner to me,

Bedmat raised on bricks, Kali icon on the wall,

More bricks making a stove for breakfast, lunch, and dinner

Their home between two parked cars.

It's getting cold. Even here.

Another family round the corner. 

Thin blankets and cement sidewalks.

Body heat to warm the three small ones,

Huddled between ma and baba.

Her eyes look up at me as I walk by

One afternoon after nap time.

Yes, I see you young one.

But I have no answers for you.

Only my cry to God: Have mercy, Come Jesus Come!

That is my refrain in this land,

As I walk by haunted eyes and haunting Kali temples,

Broken men curled up on sidewalks and dogs limping with broken bones,

Hungry faces...are they also hungry for change?

Or have they lost all hope?

India, will things change?

Across the street, 24-7,

Women of all ages 'work the line'.

10,000 in this city,

Waiting for customers

Night after night.

Live for today.

Today is all we have.

I too want to live in the present,

But not without hope for a future.

Come Jesus Come!

That is my refrain in this land, 

As I try to 'see from God to the problem, not from the problem to God'. 

Hungry for change--for healing, restoring, reconciling Kingdom change..

So, Loving God, you who crossed the boundaries,

Come break again these dividing walls.

Empowering women through employment

'O Holy Night' had a new ring to it this year for me as I sang it with others during Christmas at Freeset*, nearby one of the largest red-light districts in Kolkata.

"Truly he taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother,
And in His name all oppression shall cease."

Somehow I don't think I've noticed these lines in this familiar Christmas song before. In His birth, teaching, life, death and Resurrecion, Jesus ushered in a new holistic freedom. Its easy to long for that in the midst of this city, as I come to understand and witness more of the local sex trade. Women line the street, day in and day out, waiting for customers with heavy makeup and in a mix of Western and Indian dress. It is estimated that 20,000 work in prostitution in this city (http://saribari.com/about-human-trafficking/).

I am nearing the end of my second season in Kolkata--connecting with organizations working with women in the red-light district. I have been staying in my own room just a 5 minute walk to Freeset, close to other expats, and sharing living space with an Irish woman volunteering with Grandmas. I am continuing to enjoy time with my boyfriend Kenny, although cant believe only 10 days left here!

My involvement with these organizations has included:
--assisting Freeset's psychologist to develop a curriculum so that there is more organized psychosocial support for the 200+ mainly female employees
--leading groups for ex-pats on trauma stewardship
--a couple leadership trainings on Stress Management, Self Care, and Conflict Resolution for SariBari's Bengali management team
--continuing to visit my host family, and spend time with Servants team members

--attending a couple of Grandma's Christmas programs for kids in the area, helping with photography and games

*If you haven't watched the Freeset video yet, its short and gives you a great glimpse of their work.

Fortunately, I haven't been in the actual district all that much. Ive had the privilege of seeing the incredible work of Freeset and Saribari that employ over 300 women, all who formally worked in the trade. I've gotten to learn from those working here and hear stories about the growth and challenges the women face. Although there are still challenges, (health problems, debt, strained familiar relationships, etc.) the women have a new way of life. During the morning devotions, it is beautiful to see the women singing, laughing, and praying with and for each other. These organizations are more than businesses, they are becoming community and family to women who are marginalized and stigmatized by their own families--even the ones who sold them into the sex trade.

Before Christmas I went to a woman's home who has worked at Freeset now for 12 years, one of the originals. She still lives in the same room she used to service clients in, a building that houses 40 families in incredibly close quarters--with her next door neighbor and other women still taking clients. I can't imagine the work, let alone living in the same space years later. Brothels are different here, yes there are some that women can't leave from, but others simply seem to be very run down residences--tiny rooms that barely fit a bed. She warmly welcomed us into her home, inviting myself and two other foreigners to sit on the bed, as she brought out tasty dishes she had prepared in advance, cooked out on a little staircase well that she shares with the other 5 families on the same floor. It was beautiful and humbling to be received by this joy-filled, gracious woman, serving us who have come 'to serve' in the midst of her poverty.

After dinner, she proudly showed me a magazine article, publishing her sons photographs and telling her story. When her son was eleven, he'd been given a camera by a UN project and encouraged to take photos of his life. The camera became an outlet, a voice, and he began to encourage his mother to get out of the trade. His photos have taken him around the world. His mother, our host, is now a trainer in one of the sewing rooms, and has connected other women from her building and neighborhood with jobs at Freeset, helping them get out of what they thought was their only work.

 

The photos are of the article, laid out on the very bed pictured. As you may imagine, it was very impactful--sitting on the bed where she used to host customers. The issue of 'sex trafficking' was funneled down to this reality, this home, this woman in front of me. The reality has different faces and forms around the world, but each woman, man, child, is unique. Each, I do believe, known and Beloved by God.

'Oppression shall cease...'
We live in the already, but not yet. The Kingdom that is here, breaking in, and still coming. It is beautiful to see glimpses of the Kingdom, to come alongside long term staff as they cry out for more change, clinging to Hope in the midst of the vast numbers of women caught in prostitution. It is a privilege to be here, to witness these social businesses, and come alongside staff supporting them in the work they do and encourage them in ways of taking care of themselves.

I welcome your prayers as I near the end of my time here, and prepare to transition home. I do love hearing any reflections from these posts as well as how you are doing this new year!